In keeping with the stream-of-conscious theme and to keep a clear conscience at the same time, I admit I spent two minutes narrowing down all the words that were present in my mind this morning…to just one. Today my favorite word is “identity.”
Why identity? It seems that most of my life has revolved around protecting my identity and trying to strengthen the identity of others. I have worked with abused children, emotionally-disturbed children, adults who used to be abused children, and those, like me, who have accepted lies about themselves that have influenced decisions and directions their whole lives. Basically, I spend my time trying to convince people that they are good and others are good too…even if the expressed behaviors are a little sketchy.
I personally think that many behaviors grow out of self-identity. How we choose to label ourselves results in how we choose to act. I believe we are all trying to select public labels that are congruent with our inner labels (identity).
I don’t like this stream-of-conscious writing. I feel out of control. Perhaps the outside label I have chosen (one of many) “likes to write… writer” influences my desire to try and present my best writing self to the world, and this insanity known as stream-of-conscious writing, is challenging my fear that people will see me as a bad writer and because of that, my personification of the label writer will be threatened and as a result, I personally will feel threatened and begin to question my value as a person…unless I know that my core, my identity is good. Then I can become more objective in evaluating the critics who want to talk about the labels I have forged for myself. My core is untouchable, it is good…let’s talk about labels because I want to approach mastery.
So, since I understand myself in this manner, I can appreciate others in the same way, to see their good core…their righteous identity….and point it out to them. Like saying, “I notice that you are good.” Speaking at an identity level…motivations, intentions, dreams, fears… can be quite threatening and vulnerable…but what fun it can be if you know that your identity is good and our expressions are varied and free.
Well, there you have it. No edits. Not re-reading until this thing is published. That was fun. (okay…three spellings edits)
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